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Occupational Humor

What do you call   

They call the head of a mafia family a don. I would have called him a vice-president.
So, what do you call…

…a tall beachcomber?     — A longshoreman.

…a sidewalk engineer?     — A pathologist.

…a high school or college graduate?     — A diplomat.

…a car body shop worker?     — A dentist.

…a casino black jack dealer?     — A cardiologist.

…someone who blows with the wind?     — A draftsman.

…a lousy golfer?     — A foreman.

…the manager of a political candidate?     — An electrician.

…a currently well-grounded person?     — A conductor.

…a guy who likes to pile up dirt?     — A banker.

…a trampoline artist?     — A bouncer.

…someone who won't share?     — A miner.

…a decision maker?     — An optimist.

…someone who likes to put people away for good?     — An internist.

…an expert on hemorrhoids?     — An analyst.

…the head of a crime syndicate?     — A vice-president.

…a policeman in traffic?     — A director.

…a cemetery worker?     — An engraver.

…one who writes high-brow music for drama?     — An operator.

…a cab driver who gets under your skin?     — A taxidermist.

…a Caucasian philosopher?     — A paleontologist.

…one who shrinks from his responsibilities?     — A contractor.

…a parking lot attendant?     — A carpenter.

…seller of fruits and vegetables?     — A producer.

…one who does not spread gossip?     — A secretary.

…one who can't be a secretary?     — A teller.

…an anemic vampire?     — An umpire.

…a straight-line guy named Bob?     — A plumber.

…someone who makes pointed remarks?     — A barber.

…someone who is always polite?     — A politician.

…a bank employee who deals with rich clients?     — A fortune teller.

…a small preacher?     — A minister.

…the guy at a company who hands out pink slips?     — A fireman.