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Occupational Humor

What do you call...

They call the head of a mafia family a don.  I would have called him a vice-president.  So, what do you call…

…a tall beachcomber?
— A longshoreman.

…a sidewalk engineer?
— A pathologist.

…a high school or college graduate?
— A diplomat.

…a car body shop worker?
— A dentist.

…a casino black jack dealer?
— A cardiologist.

…someone who blows with the wind?
— A draftsman.

…a lousy golfer?
— A foreman.

…the manager of a political candidate?
— An electrician.

…a currently well-grounded person?
— A conductor.

…a guy who likes to pile up dirt?
— A banker.

…a trampoline artist?
— A bouncer.

…someone who won’t share?
— A miner.

…a decision maker?
— An optimist.

…someone who likes to put people away for good?
— An internist.

…an expert on hemorrhoids?
— An analyst.

…the head of a crime syndicate?
— A vice-president.

…a policeman in traffic?
— A director.

…a cemetery worker?
— An engraver.

…one who writes high-brow music for drama?
— An operator.

…a cab driver who gets under your skin?
— A taxidermist.

…a Caucasian philosopher?
— A paleontologist.

…one who shrinks from his responsibilities?
— A contractor.

…a parking lot attendant?
— A carpenter.

…seller of fruits and vegetables?
— A producer.

…one who does not spread gossip?
— A secretary.

…one who can’t be a secretary?
— A teller.

…an anemic vampire?
— An umpire.

…a straight-line guy named Bob?
— A plumber.

…someone who makes pointed remarks?
— A barber.

…the head of a crime syndicate?
— A vice-president.

…someone who is always polite?
— A politician.

…a bank employee who deals with rich clients?
— A fortune teller.

…a small preacher?
— A minister.

…the guy at a company who hands out pink slips?
— A fireman.