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More Daffynitions

New definitions for old words

Some words with fractured definitions don’t do well in sentences, but rather can be best enjoyed simply in a list of daffyfinitions.  Many are verbal puns, such as “avoidable: what a bullfighter tries to do,” or imaginative humor, like “dust: mud with the juice squeezed out.”)  Here are some daffynitions that rely strictly on literal associations and correct spellings.  (See also Daffynitions; new Definitions for Old Words and Prefix Daffynitions.)

arsenal — British lavatory

artery — art supply shop

article — ice sculpture

aspiration — snake breathing

auditorium — IRS office

balderdash — rapid hair loss

bestial — of the highest quality

bombard — lousy poet

brothel — soup kitchen

circumstance — standing around

coalition — miner’s union

coincide — blood money

cowling — calf

dietician — undertaker

diplomacy — graduation

dinner — noisy eater

dogmatic — pulled by Huskies

download — A crucial step in making a pillow.

elope — surf the net

enlightenment — losing weight

escape — part of Superman’s outfit

expressed — now wrinkled

factory — data bank

fairy — not cloudy

fondue — need for affection

forest — most in favor

foundry — a place of lost items

gallant — surrounded by women

gastric — hybrid automobile

germinate — sneeze or cough on somebody

goatee — butt of a practical joke

graphite — one who believes in charts

hindsight — watching ones weight

hostility — what guests should expect

impeach — pelt with fruit

infraction — dividing by zero

liposuction — weird kissing

lobster — weak tennis player

midwife — second spouse of three

misery — penny pinching

number — what higher math makes you

ovation — laying an egg

palette — little friend

pandemonium — bamboo-eaters on the loose

petulant — having a crush on a girl called Petula

predate — flirt

preoccupied — looking for work

pretense — anxiety antecedent

primitive — like a proper old lady

prudent — like a proper old lady

pulpit — blender setting

pumpkin — sandals

racism — the belief that fast is better

ramification — bad driving

restitution — sanitarium

restoration — pep talk during a time out

sadism — melancholy

Semite — half of a couple

seminary — almost not any

slippery — like a lounging shoe

slugfest — a gathering of gastropods

slumber — saw wood (sleep)

steward — where the leftovers are headed

subdue — teaching absent

summer — abacus

stereotype — braille

taxonomy — IRS audit

testicle — freeze up on an exam

textile — braille

trickle — to delight with magic

triple — stumbling walk

virtuoso — exceptionally moral person