Butterflies

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Did you ever wonder what makes the butterfly? Surely, you’re thinking, it has nothing to do with a stick of butter sailing through the air.  As a matter of fact, the word originally was flutterby long ago, but somehow, over time, got twist around.  I think it’s better this way because it’s funnier.  So, did you ever…

…go to a picnic on a windy day and see the butterfly?

…think you were alone in the woods, chop down a tree and then notice the chainsaw?

…make the woodwork  while redecorating a room?

…turn on the TV and have your wristwatch?

…notice in autumn the tree leaves  when the wind blows?

…while eating peanut butter have your chopstick?

…go out in the garden and have your shindig?

…hear that in the olden days you could see a carhop?

…learn that women like the sound of a diamond ring?

…eat on a rolling ship and have your bread roll?

…approach a dogwood, being afraid of its tree bark?

…go into such a deep sleep that you felt the bedrock?

…drive down a freeway and wonder if you were part of the human race?

…tell anyone that you crashed your bike, bent the frame and the wheel spoke?

…experience an earthquake and watch the kitchen sink?

…finish reading a mystery novel and think about the bookend?

…realize that in day-care kidnapping  is normal?

…wonder if a football coach buys something from a vending machine does he ever get a quarterback?

…knock over a bowl of fruit and enjoy a lemon drop?

…get kissed by your grandmother and have her lipstick?

…go to a fertility clinic and find they were automating?

…have an urgent need on a field trip and be told to use the canyon?

…think that a beaver colony was a damnation?

…hear the tugboat captain claim he saw a catfish?

…realize that after people stop reciting a poem, it becomes pastoral?

…go to a cheap jeweler to buy a shamrock?

…wonder if podiatrists hold a football  to celebrate anniversaries?

…wonder if butchers hold a meatball  annually?

…think that after auditions for a play, the actors might be castrated?

…hear that open-minded veterinarians think any dogma  is a bitch?

…go to a hotel, ring for service and then notice the bellhop?

…fill the rooms with helium and find you have a lighthouse?

…golf in the snow and have to endure a white lie?

…think wars were the result of a malefactor?

…wonder if a productive farm requires massacres?

…go to the mall to see a barbershop?

…hear crosstalk  when two people argue?

…know a cowboy who loves to have his horsehide?