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Fun with Medical Words

Word jokes about doctors, treatments and health

The medical profession has its own share of words with curious origins that now are questionable to current usage.  For example:


Does a nurse have to be artistic to draw blood?

Why are doctors only practicing  medicine?

When sick, wouldn’t you go to a medical doctor to be ill-advised?

Is feeling uneasy  the same as being difficult?

Isn’t a stretcher  something from the Spanish Inquisition?

Shouldn’t the doctor be ill-prepared  and the patient ill-mannered?

Aren’t doctor’s fees ill-gotten  gains?

In the operating room, isn't it odd that they put you out after they bring you in?

Don’t you think psychiatrist should be committed?

At hospital admitting,  did you ever hear them admit anything?

Are you expected to be ambulatory to get to the ambulance?

Do doctors call a sick client a patient  for a reason?

If the nurse checks your heart rate a second time, are you repulsed?

If you have several strokes,  are you doing swimmingly?

Would you allow an operator to perform an operation  on you?

During a heart attack,  is the heart attacking or is it being attacked?

If you are both nearsighted  and farsighted,  do you have perfect vision?

Why do they use a scalpel  when they’re not operating on your head?

Wouldn’t you think antibiotics  would kill anything biotic?

When physicians treat  you, why do you end up paying?

Can you look up your other body parts in your appendix?

What emerges during an emergency?

What surges during surgery?

Exactly what is being covered again in recovery?

Does the word OPHTHALMOLOGY  come from the letters on an eye chart?

Can a toothbrush  be used on more than one tooth at a time?

If you have red blotches on your arm, should you get rash advice  from your doctor?

How come having a cold  means having a fever?

If you get sick at the airport, is that a terminal  illness?

During an operation, isn't the point of giving a patient anesthesia senseless?

Isn’t someone anesthetized in the operating room an outpatient?

When a dentist and a manicurist argue, do they fight tooth and nail?

If you are cross-eyed  and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Isn’t it odd how the word hospital  is related to hospitality?

Is it because first aid  is so successful that we never hear of second aid?